Self belief is a power weapon against the battle of the bulge, people who don’t really know me think I’m confident ( ha got them fooled) … My confidence comes in waves ( and with a bit of voddy). One moment I will be the epitome of confidence , then next a crisis of confidence has me sat away from the crowd, almost mouse like. I shared yesterday that I’m a bit emotionally stunted and use my sense of humour as a shield. At the end of the day though folks I am human… My coach Pom keeps telling me that believe it or not people are impressed by me and often ask him how I’m getting on. This confuses me , I know anyone reading this might be thinking .. Well you’re writing a blog for attention. I suppose in some ways I am, this is therapy for me , it’s a way of keeping me focused it’s like a very public record of how I’m getting on, the reason it’s public is because once it’s out there you just can’t hide from it.
I wish sometimes I could see myself through other people’s eyes,
I know you are going to see some negative things , but I believe in human kindness and I truly want to believe that when people see you are trying they respect you. It’s nice when at the gym somebody comes up to me and says “love your blog” or “you’re doing really well” it’s happened and to those people ( I hope you read this) I want you to know, just those few words lifted me higher than the clouds. I may not have shown it, to be honest I know I said thank you but have no idea what my body language or face was sayin ( probably sweaty and knackered). I like to think I’m applicable and those little social interactions drive me.
I am guilty of constantly comparing myself to other people and always coming out worse for it. I admire people and all their diversity sometimes I get a little bit envious , I don’t get jealous because I want people to achieve and I’m so happy for them when they do. I just don’t feel like I achieve as well as other ( dumb right?).
I guess I am an enigma I want to be remarkable and invisible at the same time.. So here is my new mantra ( well at least I’m going to try)
We love your blog at Anytime Fitness head office Lou. It’s fun, quirky and really comes from the heart. I met Pom for the first time at the conference too and told him now much we love to hear how you are getting on. Keep on trying Lou. We all think you’re amazing.
Hi Ruth, Pom told me all about you, and your enthusiasm for my little blog. Thank you guys for all you support and tweets, purple truley is the only colour I would be a little fibber if I said I didn’t love the attention and I promote the anytime ethos with every ounce of my being ( which is currently a lot of ounces lol )