The winter months for me are like a hibernation period, I feel run down and totally unmotivated.  You can probably see that I have blogged in over a month two reasons … actually four…

1) I really didn’t think I had anything worth while to say and didn’t want to repeat myself

2) I just didn’t seem to get round to writing things up.

3) I actually just couldn’t be arsed

and lastly

4) I just wasn’t seeing the results I wanted quick enough so I lost the plot….

I took one month later photos of me in my undies and was excited to  look and the difference, problem is in my eyes there is no difference at all and this was the spiral into doom.

I have still been training and eating as well as I can (although I have relaxed a little on the eating clean)

Problem is with the four reasons above is how easy it is to lose focus and slide back into old ways.

I was thinking about my blog all the time even made notes on my mobile when I thought about content. ( I have flashes of inspiration that leave my brain as easy as they enter it)

I made notes about the long walk home I had to take at Halloween that I walked easily dressed like this… Helped by the sensible choice of walking boots under dress instead   of fashion shoes. Still some terrain I would not have been able to manage 12 months ago.

I noted about tears of frustration now the weights are going heavier and the work is getting harder, counter acted by the discovery of an ab! (just the one mind).

Most poignantly I noted about the power of the word “Can’t”…. Your brain is your most powerful muscle, it can drive you on or stop you dead in the water.  Mine stops me from trying new things unless I know I am going to succeed…. The thought of failing in front of people and then thinking that they would attribute my failure to being fat gives me the fear. The thought of something breaking (like in the film shallow Hal) … some folk may find hilarious but its my idea of hell … all these thing fuel for my “can’t” reflex.

My size and my humour has always been my shield, but I’m not strong, people who survive disaster or fight cancer, these people are strong and some of these people are tiny children so their size is irrelevant. 

I am weak I need to box the word “can’t” and replace it “try” sometimes I might fail and if anyone laughs that’s their problem…….. although baby step.

So the blog is back  hopefully the material will flow but I need to find the time for this and for myself so keep the encouragement coming I have dedicated mailbox now so if you want to contact me I am on  Louise@LF-S.co.uk