Category Archives: Feeling

The Trinity of Friendship

When you are overweight and either on a diet or following a healthy eating plan, as soon as people find out or work out your are “being good” they assume one of three roles.

The Supporters

These people are the best they are with you all the way they are happy to swap recipes and food ideas they have total faith in your commitment to do this for yourself and give you a big ole “Boo yeah!!” every step of the way, when you falter (because we are human right!) they remind you about how well you have done and support you back on track rather than push.

The Feeders

The feeders are the worst, now I don’t know why this happens , maybe they don’t want you to change either out of jealously or they are concerned that in changing your physical appearance and attitude to food your personality will change and they wither wont like you or you wont like them. Maybe having a fat friend gives them some comfort.  Who knows…. These are the friends who use terms like “One won’t hurt you” or “A little bit of what you fancy does you good” or they may pass reference to you being boring or miserable.  They buy goodies knowing you have no will power and almost support your weakness,

The Pushers

These are the people who don’t support you, they police you.  Everything you do and eat is under scrutiny.. They throw in little things like “Do you really need to eat that?” or “A moment on the lips”.  These people use negative enforcement to guilt you into staying on plan.  I genuinely they believe they are trying to help and if you asked them they would think they are in the Supporters bracket.  What they done realise is the negativity is the last thing on the planet you need.  I refer back to the Mirrors and Mountains Blog where I asked you to take a look in the mirror and say what you see.  Negativity breeds negativity and that’s what got me here in the first place. 

This is of course only they way I see things, my triggers are going to be different to yours as we are all individuals and I am not a phycologist.  I don’t profess to know the complexities of the human mind.  I just know me, and the weird and sometimes wonderful things that go through my head on a daily basis.

Mountains and Mirrors

Here is a little exercise for you.

Stand in front of a full length mirror and describe what you see.   

I am willing to bet my mortgage that the majority of you start with the stuff that you don’t like

I am with the majority here I don’t like that I am a hulking wide load in the ass department  with arms like a Nanna. 

I was training with Pom Tutt of Finish Strong UK today doing a shoulder press, when he stops me and says “look in the mirror so you can see what you are doing wrongly and correct yourself”.  Oh the horror, at the very sobering moment it occurred to me how little I look at all of me in a mirror.  I look at my face which isn’t too bad. but the rest of me … well lets face it the rest of me hardly fits in a standard full length mirror unless I stand veeeeerrrrrry far away.

So there I am stood in front of a whole wall of mirror and I can see what I have done to myself in all is glory. Now let me just clear something up here, what I look like does not define me,  however what is does do is hinder me It stops me doing anything that may draw attention to myself , unless I know 100% I can do the task without failing.

Fat shaming is a real thing, the same as skinny shaming, what these individuals don’t realise(or don’t care) is how words effect people. It stops you wanting to dance or run or play a physical game , mainly because you not only have to combat the fitness side of things but also the barrage of comments barked at you from people who think they are funny.  Well News flash wise guy !!! you want funny fat jokes I can blow you out the water … and then you can choose which of the 600 square inches of my ass you can kiss.

So this brings me to Mountains.  

Recently my coach Pom scaled Kilimanjaro , really quite emotionally he talks about how it changed his perspective on life, his work , and his team he coaches.  This was a personal triumph for him and one I can only imagine.

He revealed today he was hesitant to contact me as he wasn’t sure if I would be properly “on board” with the program he wanted to put me on. He was probably right to be hesitant as like I have said I have failed before. 

I am glad he did drop me that message, as in sending me that message he packed my virtual rucksack ready to climb that mountain.  My mountain isn’t 16,001 ft from base to summit, my mountain is in my head, its a volcano of voices picking away at my weaknesses making me have to stop at the door of the gym and take a breath before I walk in.

Pom’s guidance so far (and we are talking three weeks from “the interview”) has given me the strength to move around the gym like I have a right to be there to talk to people in the gym I wouldn’t normally talk to (because they looked to at home and fit not because I was judging them) and to focus on me.

I still don’t like what I see in the mirror and I still have Nanna arms but I am looking up to the summit of that mountain, taking a deep breath and walking on through.

Get help or go it alone.

In my experience you have two sorts of exercisers, you have those who need help or those who can go it alone.

Those who need help may not always need help as with the right guidance you can eventually become one of those people who can go it alone.

I often see people running, riding bikes and walking in exercise gear and I envy their commitment.

I am very much a need help person, I have tried the go it alone and frankly each time I buy all the required gear and become a well kitted out failure (you’ve heard the phrase all the gear and no idea).

I get bored and distracted and then I think up wild and wonderful excuses as to why I don’t need to exercise.

When I started at Anytime Fitness Telford over a year ago people kept saying to me that I will become addicted….. erm I am still waiting …

I agonised over the cost of hiring a personal trainer as its not a cheap affair but when I weighed it up (forgive the pun) here is what I came up with.

Ladies and Gents trying to lose weight sometimes use “fat” clubs.  Now don’t get me wrong these work for some people but clapping people for losing weight when you don’t really know them or for that matter really care and paying around £6-8 a week for the privilege was one of my money saving ticks. 

Then putting a minimum wage  rate on the time I spent flouncing around the gym doing basically piss all. soon meant that having someone structure my time and watch my diet and to correct me when I am going wrong seemed like a fair investment in me.

The advice I would share is interview your trainer, its important if you are investing that you get the right one. 

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for a free trial session, make sure you are getting what you need.  
  • Be totally honest with them about what you want. 
  • If you are very overweight ensure they have experience of dealing with your training, and have the ability to create a personalised plan.

The most important factor to remember is though is that they are not there to do it for you.  If you are not prepared to put the effort in… do not waste your money.  You are going to laugh and cry, be ecstatically happy and really angry  with this person, they are going to see you at your most vulnerable you have to feel you can trust them.

With this in mind I have a trainer now I had spoken to a few all lovely and knowledgeable (and frankly not been hit by the ugly stick either) but the trainer I chose just struck a cord, got into my head and rummaged around pushing all the right buttons and so I signed on with Pom Tutt , branded as “Finishstrong“.

Pom has been about since I joined the gym I have been watching him (yeah I know I sound like a stalker) but wasn’t sure if he was taking on new clients and I had got in into my head that I wanted a female trainer.

Ok so I think this post is quite long enough… I will talk more about the adventures of Pom and Lou I am sure, I haven’t cried in front of him yet and I haven’t made him cry so, so far so good.

 

It’s all a learning curve – All about the Blog

Todays post is all about my Blog.

All this is new to me, opening a page like this is if I am honest a little bit of attention seeking but it is also laying myself bare. I haven’t opened the page for comments as yet as I don’t need keyboard warriors telling me how fat I am because ***NEWS FLASH*** I am fully aware I am after all … I have to live it every day.  Each spare evening I have I am trying to learn a little bit and add little bit so hopefully my page will improve as I go along. 

I am planning to start adding members who can comment I am just organising an email address for questions etc 

So if you are reading this thanks for your patience. xxx

Amazing 12 plus size version going solo

"Session on my own done"
 
First work out Session doing amazing 12 on my own done — at Anytime Fitness
Here is a run down if my session
I was there about an hour I managed to do all of the Sets and exercises.
 
Bench press… I think I did ok on the weight was right for amount of reps if I go any heavier training on my own I will either need someone to spot me or use the rack… I couldn’t get up off the bench after either so had to roll off like a bloody hippo…. ( gym hottie I am nottie plus my bloody T shirt kept riding up so as the only woman in the gym on a Friday night I wasn’t really representing )
Lat pull down was busy so I went onto the trx and chest press
Used the 4kg dumbbells weight was fine had to use the step thingy because the incline bench was being used , plus if I’m honest I would not feel comfortable moving the incline bench when I am there on my own …. However the step thingy even on the lower setting seemed bit too upright so I think my form suffered as a consequence
Trx was fine I used my water bottle as a marker to where my feet should go
Lat pull down …. Couldn’t get the straight bar so used another bar but think I may have had my hands round the wrong way… And my breathing was all over the place until I remembered on the last two sets …. Also again couldn’t move the higher Bench so used the step thingy again which seemed a little low… Sitting in front of a mirror working out is a humbling experience …. There was some bright red sweaty fat bird looking back at me ….