Author Archives: Louise

TV Coaches v The real deal

I often find myself watching TV programs like the biggest Loser and A Year to Save My Life, I don’t necessarily always agree with their methods of rapid weightloss but I do find Solace in listening to people with stories similar to mine.  

I used to shout at the TV when people used to give up and cry because they weren’t succeeding, Id think to myself if I had the opportunity there is no way on this planet I’ve been bawling my eyes out on National Television.

It was so easy to formulate an opinion from my sofa I wasn’t sweating, I wasn’t running until I puked, I wasn’t being shouted at by the TV trainers like on the biggest loser.  

FB_IMG_1464900401995Then you get programs like a Year to Save My Life where somebody gets 12 months with Jessie Pavelka (now there’s a thought). Jesse’s message was a little bit softer it was more getting to the root cause for the obesity more often than not it was a Jessie Pavelka show that had me in tears because you actually saw the emotional battles that people fought against the Bulge.

I would wish longingly for Jessie Pavelka to be knocking my door and offering me the opportunity to spend 12 months with him in my head and on my case, but then that’s for the fortunate few, people who make good television I don’t necessarily think Id make good television but then again who knows.

I have a great deal of respect for the people on the shows they lay themselves bare for everybody to judge, which I’m sure they’re very often do. Believe themselves open to ridicule to people supporting them in excited for them and other people just finding entertainment in them failing.

At least now with my very own Jessie Pavelka the very lovely Pom finish strong Tutt I have the opportunity to Save My own Life because ultimately the saving ends with me . Pom is there for me emotionally supporting me and pushing me shouting at me when he has to he is my very own Jessie Pavelka and I have more respect for him  and I really ever let him know.

So all those years of procrastinating on my sofa what I Shoulda done was join the gym and engaged the services of Pom finish strong Tutt then this blog would have been about my sucess instead ofvmy journey

You could say I wasted time I’d like to think that was the planning stage of my journey and ok it was a long plan but hey it’s a long journey.

Life Through a lens

Self belief is a power weapon against the battle of the bulge, people who don’t really know me think I’m confident ( ha got them fooled) … My confidence comes in waves ( and with a bit of voddy). One moment I will be the epitome of confidence , then next a crisis of confidence has me sat away from the crowd, almost mouse like.  I shared yesterday that I’m a bit emotionally stunted and use my sense of humour as a shield.  At the end of the day though folks I am human… My coach Pom keeps telling me that believe it or not people are impressed by me and often ask him how I’m getting on.  This confuses me , I know anyone reading this might be thinking .. Well you’re writing a blog for attention. I suppose in some ways I am, this is therapy for me , it’s a way of keeping me focused it’s like a very public record of how I’m getting on, the reason it’s public is because once it’s out there you just can’t hide from it.  

I wish sometimes I could see myself through other people’s eyes,

I know you are going to see some negative things , but I believe in human kindness and I truly want to believe that when people see you are trying they respect you.  It’s nice when at the gym somebody comes up to me and says “love your blog” or “you’re doing really well” it’s happened and to those people ( I hope you read this) I want you to know, just those few words lifted me higher than the clouds.  I may not have shown it, to be honest I know I said thank you but have no idea what my body language or face was sayin ( probably sweaty and knackered). I like to think I’m applicable and those little social interactions drive me.

I am guilty of constantly comparing myself to other people and always coming out worse for it. I admire people and all their diversity sometimes I get a little bit envious , I don’t get jealous because I want people to achieve and I’m so happy for them when they do.  I just don’t feel like I achieve as well as other ( dumb right?).

I guess I am an enigma I want to be remarkable and invisible at the same time.. So here is my new mantra ( well at least I’m going to try)

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Flatliners

imageGoing to share something quite personal with you now . As I sit here I am finding it really difficult to put what I want to say into words, so I am going to start with what moved me to write today’s blog.

My day started at my physiotherapist ( Scott Gormley of Shropshire Physiotherapy) small improvements with my knees but not totally pain free which is grinding me down somewhat.  

He is pals with my coach Pom FinishStrong Tutt and I’ve given my permission for them to discuss my progress so far and for the future.  

So Scott is convincing me that I can and should do more on the powermill (Lucifers staircase) and him breaking down has me convinced I can … The door hasn’t even shut behind me and he has shared this information with Pom… I know Pom will be pleased he loves the powermill as a method of torture (and because he knows it’s an effective piece of kit). I do my day at work and trot along to my training session with Pom who is in high spirits.  Half an hour on the Oxtane lateral X machine and Pom heads over to the …. You guessed it powermill…… It can’t be … I was only on the doom machine yesterday… But like a yellow card in a footie match it pointless arguing and up I went.  In my head I am thinking I can do this I can do this and begin, we try a different approach going medium speed for a minute and the slow speed for a minute and with a great deal of effort smash through 14 floor ( whaaaaaaat) I cant breath my calves are burning but I’m a little bit pleased with that …. But then after a recovery few minutes up I go for round two.. As I climb to the top of the machine I beat myself, in my head I am already saying I can’t do this I manage 6 floors then !!!!boom!!! brick wall !!! nothing Pom can say can stop me hitting the stop button and getting back on the floor…..

I’m fighting inside, everything is shutting down my shoulders neck and throat tighten and I feel like I’m going to cry… I can’t let that happen now can I ?

… And here is the share….

I don’t like people to see me cry it makes me feel weak and vulnerable, I don’t even know why I want to cry.  I have spent my life holding in emotions , covering how I’m feeling with laughs and smiles and jokes so nobody can see I’m hurting.  I do cry but this is usually in private, I hide when I want to cry I don’t want to look at anybody or have them look at me.  So here I am stood at the bottom of the powermill Pom doing his sympathy face and trying to get me to ( to use a frozen lyric) “let it go” but all I can do is  “conceal don’t feel don’t let them know”..  This is my issue, I have spent so many years hiding my emotions I have problems showing them, I can’t do excited either I sat and had a think about what excites me… I couldn’t come up with a single thing…. On the plus side it means I’m quite even tempered (I can’t remember the last time I lost it.)  I am sometimes very envious of those feisty folk who can just explode Geordie Shore style. I am emotional I just don’t like to show it in public.  So I flatline… Beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep … I’m calling it.   Can I be resuscitated?.. 

For Gods Sake breathe

Big breaths ( I had to be careful how I typed that)..

Today I’d like to share what I’ve learnt about breath control.

As a lifelong big girl I’m constantly having a battle with myself to cover up the fact that when I do things that raise my heart rate it makes me out of breath .   So what is my brilliant master plan  in order to cover up the fact that, yes I do get out of breath sometimes …..it is …to hold my breath.

And so …!!!vicious circle alert !!! when you hold your breath to mask the fact that you’re out of breath you end up gasping for breath which defeats the object of holding your breath in the first place.

So here is the science bit….

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From oxygenplus.com ( a retailer of sport performance oxygen)

“Cellular respiration is the process in which your muscles use oxygen to produce ATP energy. It’s a relatively straightforward process. Normally, your body obtains oxygen from the air you breathe. It enters the blood stream and is carried to your muscles, where some of it is used immediately, and the rest is stored by a compound called myoglobin. Whether you’re exercising or not, the oxygen in your body is used to break down glucose and create the fuel for your muscles called ATP.

During exercise, your muscles have to work harder, which increases their demand for oxygen. This is why your breathing and heart rates increase, to pull more oxygen into the bloodstream. As you exercise, the oxygen that reaches your muscles never leaves, but rather sets to work immediately converting the available glucose into ATP.

So, what happens when your body runs out of oxygen, or your other systems simply can’t deliver it to your muscles quickly enough? Your muscles begin converting glucose into lactic acid instead of energy, anaerobic exercise takes over, power output drops and fatigue sets in. Unfortunately, anaerobic exercise can only continue for so long before your muscles run out of energy completely and reach fatigue.”

For me everyday is a school day,  from this I’ve learnt that if you don’t establish the right breathing rhythm when you’re working out you’re starving your muscles of oxygen.  When you starve your muscles of oxygen they fatigue quicker so that horrible burning feeling you feel any muscles when they’re getting tired that cold numbness that makes you feel like you going to puke News Flash ,, that’s because you’re not breathing.  Oh and ATP is adenosine triphosphate or the energy currency of life it is the science term for how your cells use oxegyn. Cuz that’s science innit!

Now we get the problem (eventually) …  I have always held my breath when I’ve been exercising, I hold my breath walking up the stairs, I hold my breath if I have to walk fast someone. Holding my breath to cover up the fact that I’m out of breath is a habit.  It’s a difficult habit to break I have to literally tell myself to breathe.

It’s a bit of a dodgy relationship I’ve got with exercise I have so much to think about all at once that sometimes just fall out with myself.

My worst critic is my best friend and the only person on this planet who knows me.   My worst critic is the person who drives me the hardest the only person who can make any changes in my life.

My worst critic is named … Louise and she needs to stop blubbing and get a grip.  But this girl is stubborn and stuck in her ways and sometimes just needs a bloody slap, and I don’t mean kinky 50 shades of slap I mean a proper run up shot in the kisser.

Posture, Form and all that Jazz

 

Today I got to thinking about posture…… my trainer is always going on about good form, lift light weights like they are heavy, engage the core, breath tense, snap yadda yadda yadda.

A work out is as much mental as it is physical.  Thing is when it all comes together is works.. who knew!!.  Eventually after repeating , improving and increasing the form almost becomes second nature so this made me think about my day to day life. 

How I hold myself when I sit at work, when I walk, when I am just generally relaxing.  The years have made my posture lazy I don’t have abs that stay engaged they relax like the before photo on those control pants adverts.

BODY_MAGIC_BEFORE_AFTER_full_fullI am by no means a specialist but it occurs to me that if you don’t carry yourself properly day to day you are putting strain on your joints that overtime will give you those aches and pains that stop you from being active because it hurts.  Do you see the vicious circle?

The only thing is nobody in day to day life can tell you if you are moving properly if you are holding your insides correctly. 

So my question is to those fit people out there ……

Do you have a relaxed state or are you muscles so well trained your gluts, quads and core are naturally tight pulling the structure into the optimal athletic posture?. 

Its like watching runners, there is a right and wrong way to do it isn’t there.?… well who teaches you that stuff? Can you recondition your body to relax but still with form or am I condemned to a life of constantly ?

Its a question blog today I hope if anybody reads this and they are in the know they will maybe drop a comment on it and share….

Who the fudge wants to be normal.

Okay so I went to the gym today feeling a bit flat to be honest. I’ve had to go to see a physiotherapist because I’ve got a pain in my knees which has been ongoing for some time and was starting to make me want to give it all up . I have to admit that even though I don’t consider myself a gym bunny  and still don’t consider the gym to be my comfortable domain it was a lovely vibe in there today that was until my coach Pom FinishStrong Tutt, who had colluded with my physiotherapist to conjure a plan who’s evilness could not be surpassed by even Satan himself  informed me that today’s session would mainly be on the Power Mill! …..  For those of you who are not familiar with this piece of gym equipment it was designed by Beelzebub in order to punish the innocent.  it is a perpetual set of stairs, a set of stairs that never ever ever stops it just keeps rolling round and round and round until you’re dissolved by your own sweat I actually thought I was going to puke a lung at one point. When asked by Pom the magnificent how I felt  he seemed almost gleeful at my answer of “I feel sick” for my coach is a very good sadist. However my tale of woe does indeed have a happy ending after doing 30 flights of stairs (which to some may not sound a lot)  I’m managing not to puke a lung Ivan actually sailed through yes I said it sailed through 100 kettle bell swings and I have to say they were easier this time.   My word of the day is growth .  Sometimes the improvements aren’t always ones that you see in the mirror sometimes is a little achievements sometimes a big achievements going from flat to 30 flights and 100 kettle bell swings for me is a big achievement still smiling at the end big aceivment,   Managing to tweet a sneaky sweaty face to picture in the gym without being caught small achievement.

Additionally, and the reason for today’s blog title, on discussing what I’ll be doing in the gym tomorrow Pom  started tagging on little bits and pieces ….extras to what I’ve been doing so far all in the name of growth ….. “it’s Friday tomorrow” I said “most normal people will be out drinking partying and enjoying themselves” to which Pom Tutt  replied “who the fudge (cleaned up for the benefit of the delicate) wants to be normal, I don’t wanna be normal do you wanna be normal ?”  I’ve had a good Ole think about that since he said it and I have to say no I don’t want to be normal I want to be exceptional!! .

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Look at his face …Punisher! But I love to hate him 

All the gear

Why is all the cool training gear only for the smaller sizes?

There are some wicked designed sportswear out there and yet they come in a max size of extra large which is a size 14-16 (extra large…… seriously!!)

I know that most larger people want to wear the baggiest thing possible and melt into the background but it would be nice for us to have the choice grrr.

So how do I compensate this sad lack of ways to express my inner Goddess?

Trainers and Tech…. I am the original or at least one of the many all the gear and no idea girls.

Every time I have started a new regime or joined a gym I have bought myself new trainers ( I have a lot of trainers) and as much tech as I can get my hands on.  It becomes like an obsession …

Almost like my confidence has to come in a box delivered by amazon.

I am proud to announce that I have had various tech sat in my save for later shopping cart for aaaaggggeeeessss and haven’t completed the transaction, every time I’ve gone to I have thought about how is it going to enhance my gym and fitness experience? and so far the answer has been it doesn’t !! and I’ve made do with what I already own.

At my gym Anytime fitness they are dedicated to providing members the best of the best.

The cardio machines are high tech and fabulous (I’ve been cycling through the virtual alps… fascinating) if you are not sure what I mean check out this link https://www.lifefitness.co.uk/commercial/cardio/discover.html the equipment is awesome, I am so busy enjoying the scenery I forget to look at the clock and so my session is done before I know it.

The hardware doesn’t stop there, they also buy us skipping ropes, boxing gloves, foam rollers and that’s to name but a few things. We also have the use of a private studio with virtual classes so if you fancy spin but don’t fancy the thought of someone look at you sweaty ass for an hour.. not a problem book a wellbeats virtual class and the room is all yours at a time to suit you.

So all you need to reach max tech in my gym is a chest strap, a mobile phone, a headset of some sort and the pure self driven motivation to keep going  then BOOOOSH you are kitted out !!…

I know this sounds like I am an Anytime rep selling membership but I can assure I’m not being paid to say this , if anything I’d love the place to be quiet all the time but that’s just not good for business and the staff there are so lovely I wouldn’t want them to not be a success.

Anytime staff, members and of course my amazing coach Pom Tutt of Finish Strong have helped transform this girl from all the gear and no idea. To screw the gear and face your fear!

 

Body Pump update..

Last night I blogged about Body Pump and bricking it.

Well I came close to not going, I was tired after a day at work and all I wanted to do was sleep.. Towards the end of the day at work my back and knees were aching and I was on the cusp of the mother of all migraines.

So what did I do…. I work with people all over central England, I have a pal I chat to on messenger so I sent him what I call a virtual distress flair.

My Pal John saved me from myself,  when I said I was thinking about skiving he reminded me that missing tonight I would be moving away from my goals, he said that if I go I will feel better for making the effort and if I didn’t go I would be letting myself down.

Now John has no investment in me he lives hundreds of miles away and we only talk via email or occasionally on the phone, and yet I send up a flare and he gives me the virtual bum kick I need.

So I dragged my sorry ass to class… here is a list of the hurdles I had to jump

  1. It was freezing outside and peeing with freezing rain.
  2. There was no parking space at the gym so I had to park in the overflow.
  3. The door to the studio where that class is held was shut.
  4. The room was packed.
  5. I didn’t know a single person in the room.
  6. I was cramped at the back with the spin bikes and the punch bag
What stopped me from turning tail and running.
  1. The lady who was holding the class put a step and a mat out for me.
  2. The chap in front of me seemed like he was a little nervous too.
  3. The room was darkened with disco lights.
  4. There was a mixed bag of people in the class.
  5. I was there and there was no turning back.

The class was good, I could actually do more than I thought, there were a few things I would change my bench was to low and I kinda needed to set up my area better.  I had no idea what kit I needed so I was bumbling around a bit but I was next to two ladies who seemed to know what was coming next so I just copied them.

I didn’t really engage with anybody though 🙁 and at one point I felt a bit emotional (I know daft)

But I didn’t swear I wasn’t arrested I didn’t die, and nobody was behind me to see my massive ADSA pants.

So ups and downs, and well as pump…

I wont give up just yet but I am more a half hour class girl than a hour class 🙂

Body pump and bricking it

As part of my ongoing growth, Guru, friend, leader and coach Pom Tutt has suggested that I attend some classes at the gym so that my Gym experience is not so insular.  I think he wants me to socialise more with the other gym members.  Now apart from my inappropriate humour ( I should seriously wear a T shirt with a disclaimer on it) I have no problem with socialising. Class clown me and often described as bubbly (although if I’m honest I always take that as a nice way of saying pleasantly fat but that’s just me).

That  is until you put me in leggings that go see through when I bend over (thank the Lord God and ASDA for big pants) and  in a situation where I am likely to swear like a turrets suffer and sweat actual whilst turning the purple side of red.  Problem with me is that despite everything I get a bit competitive and always end up overdoing it.  My instruction from the man himself is to work at 80%, difficult to do in a room full of people giving 110%.

However even with all that turmoil swimming around my head I have booked myself into Body Pump not one but two sessions this week, so this may be my last entry as tomorrow I may expire , or melt or be arrested for making sailors blush with my blue language.

I will let you know how I get on, I have deliberately told you so that I cant skive the class and pretend I never booked it because I am seriously bricking it.

So if you never hear from me again… it’s been a blast 🙂

The Resolutionists

January always sees the local Gyms packed full of the new year resolutionists, people hell bent of creating their summer bodies and sweating away the seasonal over indulgence.

For me this makes attending the gym even more difficult, the sudden crowd of new faces brings on one of my wobbly moments, I am not talking about my jellyesque figure I talk about what is the fine line between happy me and full mental break down me.

I was training with my coach Pom Tutt and he asked me to do a conditioning exercise  which involved doing a box burpee which is leaving the ground, the ground and I have an understanding I never leave it and in return it does not rise up and smack me in the face.

Immediately my subconscious rooted my feet to the floor  the power of the mind you know, that and I knew there were people behind me 🙁

Straight away the words “I Can’t” left my lips Pom just looked at me ….  “Why?” he asked…. hmmm,  I thought open question that!!.

I had two choices, cry and hope he took pity … or suck it up and forget what other people might be thinking. (I need to qualify that at my Gym Anytime Fitness nobody has ever said anything nasty to me its all in my head).

I chose the latter ( I was after all wearing my Don’t Give Up T shirt)  and surprised myself for the first time in a long time I found my bounce 🙂 Yaaay.

So for all the people who have joined the Gym and headed straight for the treadmill or the cross trainer, might I suggest booking a block of sessions with a trainer and give your workout some focus and try some of the other kit available in gyms now a days. 

This will help you achieve and grow, and in turn improve your chances of succeeding rather than getting bored and giving up a couple of months in, we all know how it starts… First you go at it like a demon, then you miss a session then you go again miss two sessions and before you know it you are working out the minimum amount of times each month you need to attend the gym in order to still be getting your monies worth, or ringing the Gym to check on their cancelation policy.

I thought I knew it all but with my coach ( and I call him a coach rather than a trainer because he is more than just a PT) nearly every session is a learning experience.